“But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.”
I am a BIG fan of the digital age . . . except when it comes to those virtual hugs. To appreciate what I’m about to share, let me take you back a few years.
The Ghost of Halloween Past
I was a 10-year-old ghost roaming my neighborhood in search of sugary treats. Lurking behind two holes in an old bed sheet, my haunt took me to the front doorstep of Mrs. Walker, my 4th grade teacher. It’s hard to recall the fleeting thoughts between doorbell chime and “Trick or Treat"!” but certainly I was undetectable among my costumed candy cohort. “She’ll never see me. She’ll never know it’s me!”
Then she opened the door!
Perhaps Mrs. Walker had x-ray vision. Or maybe my voice gave me away. More likely, I wasn’t the master of disguise I imagined. No matter, in that moment the only thing I heard was, “That’s Tommy Kiedis!” before she embraced me in a gigantic hug.
Fifty years have elapsed between that hug and this post.
Let that sink in for a moment.
I have a similar memory from my early days in church. I was five.
F-I-V-E! Let that sink in for a moment.
This was the era of Sunday morning service, Sunday evening service, and Wednesday night prayer service. On this particular Sunday night service I remember that mom let me sit with a dear family from church, Ron and Sylvia Rorabaugh. I’m certain the message was great, but my five-year-old-attention span couldn’t keep up. I fell asleep with my head on Mrs. Rorabaugh’s lap.
Interestingly, these two expressions of loving kindness — the hug and the maternal pillow — were very Jesus-like. The commonality was touch.
The God who “touched”
When John introduces us to Jesus he gives us the majesty of our Lord before showing us the humility.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God (John 1:1 ESV).
Paul echoes the excellence of Christ with these words, “Who, being in very nature, God.”
God steps onto planet earth. Cool! What will God do? Put himself on a billboard? Secure the domain, www.jesus.com? Demand we bow down? Hover over our puny existence in a pillar of fire or a cloud of smoke?
Nope! He would wrap himself in one of those august and awkward outfits we call the human body.
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14 ESV
Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase captures the earthiness of this act, “The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood.” The Message
Jesus outfitted himself with the complete package essential to touch: arms, hands, and fingers embroidered with prints.
Let that sink in for a moment.
The God who specialized in burning bush appearances, rock-hewn edicts, prophetic intermediaries, ground-opening—people-swallowing judgments; who used dreams and visions and paper and pen to push his message, decided to strap on sandals, walk dusty streets, and in a way ATT never could, “reach out and touch people.” The gospels show us this again and again:
And Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will, be clean.” Matthew 8:3
He touched her hand, and the fever left her. Matthew 8:15
The he touched their eyes, saying, “According to your faith be it done to you.” Matthew 9:29
But Jesus came and touched them, saying, "Rise, and have no fear.“ Matthew 17:7
He put his fingers into his ears, and after spitting touched his tongue. Mark 7:33
The he came up and touched the bier . . . Luke 7:14
But Jesus said, “No more of this!” And the touched his ear and healed him. Luke 22:51
Jesus touched people because people need—yes, need—human touch.
His disciples still employ touch
Not surprisingly those who walk with Jesus, live like Jesus. Paul’s first letter to the church of Thessaloniki makes this clear. Here, Paul provides a most intriguing metaphor for Jesus-like leadership.
“But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.”
Here is Paul, the undisputed leader of the church, unwrapping a leadership lesson lost on many, i.e. the importance of presence and human touch; a life-on-life presence best communicated by the unselfish and untiring image of a mother’s tender care.
I’ve never seen the likes of this motherly image from Drucker, Collins, or any other leadership guru theoretical or practical. No sir. Leadership is the stuff of vision, mission, strategy, metrics, not nursing mothers.
Come on, man!
And yet, here the metaphor fits. It is as if Paul is struggling to find just the right picture for their leadership, and learned scholar he was, he had to revert to ancient Greek to do it. In ancient Greek, the word translated “nursing mother” (used only here in the New Testament), “refers to a mother’s tender care, holding her child in her arms.”
Those who think leadership is a simple “command and control” miss it by a mile. Of all the things tied up in that word, “leadership,” a very important aspect is touch — a hand on the shoulder, a high five, an appropriate hug, being physically present with people.
As the father has sent me . . .
When Jesus commissioned his disciples he left the pattern for us to follow.
“Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” ”
The New Testament scholar D.A. Carson helps us understand this. He notes that Jesus disciples
must be sent back into the the world (20:21) in order to bear witness, along with the Paraclete (15:26-27) - though obviously there is no mention of incarnation along the lines of 1:14, and any parallel must be entirely derivative. . . . Thus Christ’s disciples do not take over Jesus’ mission; his mission continues and is effective in their ministry (14:12-14).
No doubt continuing that mission means continuing the ministry of touch!
Covid and scandal and digital have made us touch-averse. Covid keeps us from touching for fear of disease. Scandal has left us totally “hands off” for fear of accusation. Digital has us fooled into thinking that touch is really not that necessary anyway. This is the age of virtual church!
Really? Skye Jethani, formely with Christianity Today and now President of Measure the Clouds ministry said,
“Once you understand that the church is not an event, a sermon, or a concert, but rather an incarnate community living with Christ and one another, you realize it can’t be disincarnated. . . . If we are going to disincarnate every part of our faith, why not disincarnate Jesus as well?”
We buy into touch-less Christianity to our detriment. As Jethani said, “Use the [digital] tool, but don’t call it a church.”
And certainly, digital is a great tool! There is nothing wrong with an emoji — a smiley, a thumbs up, a heart, or a touchdown. Streaming services have been a great gift to the church—especially in COVID— but digital efforts can never ultimately substitute for touch, not for a five-year-old or for a 4th grader. For that matter, or for a sixty-something grandpa!
There’s nothing like a virtual hug — because there is no such thing as a virtual hug! We are made to give and receive touch. May the Father, who sent the Son in the flesh, make you a great agent of appropriate touch today!
_______
Notes:
“In ancient Greek, the word translated ‘nursing mother’ . . . “ from Strong’s Concordance. www.biblehub.com. #5162. trophos Accessed April 13, 2021.
The New Testament scholar D.A. Carson notes . . . from Carson, D.A. The Gospel According To John in The Pillar New Testament Commentary. Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company. 1991. Page 648-9
“Once you understand that the church is not an event . . .”” from Skye Jethani in “The Embodied Church in a Digital Age” by Kara Bettis. www.christianitytoday.com. Accessed April 13, 2021.